Two weeks ago, 100 yen was $1.76 AUD.  Currently it’s sitting on $1.55 and seems to be holding steady for now.

Unlike most foreigners living in Japan, I was smart enough to not blow all my salary on booze and hangover cures.   For me in the short-term, god bless this financial crisis.  Two years of savings are (safely?) sitting in my Australian bank account but the only problem is that now I have to wait anxiously for my next payday and may have to borrow a few thousand yen from my girlfriend.

If you’re thinking of traveling to Japan in the near future, forget about it.  For every $100 AUD you bring into the country, you’re only going to see about half of that in Japanese yen.  If you’re like Lupin the Third, a famous animated thief, now may be the best chance you’ll ever get to score big by breaking into a bank.  Don’t worry about the police over here, they just sit in their coban (police box) all day and night sipping coffee and reading porno magazines…useless bloody sods they are.

To check the current conversion rate, click here

Are Japanese People Really Polite?

The majority of Japanese people, like most people from other countries are courteous and polite (actually, they’re very polite).  However, compared to other societies, there’s a different type of breeze in the air if you take my meaning.  Japanese society insists that at all times people are mindful and take other people’s feelings into consideration.  On a personal level though, are Japanese people as polite as they make out to be?  Or has society itself drummed it’s politeness into the heart and soul of everyone?

Every Wednesday after work, two children who play soccer and their mothers for whatever reason stand outside my apartment block and talk.  The other week they happened to be standing right in front of the bike racks where I park my bike every evening.  One of the mothers noticed the children were in my way, which wasn’t really a problem mind you and instantly ordered them to step aside.  Without a moments hesitation both boys grabbed their bags, quickly shuffled to the side and expressed their apology with a sharp bow and “honto ni gomenasai” (I’m deeply sorry).  Their mothers also followed up immediately in a similar fashion.

The only gripe I have regarding politeness in Japan is dealing with elderly men riding their bicycle on the footpath.  Riding on the footpath itself is legal and in my opinion there’s nothing wrong with it so long as you are mindful of the people walking along them.  The infuriating thing is that 90% of these elderly men love to ring their bell and expect people to move aside.  They’re a hazard to everyone, especially towards other elderly people and children.  They don’t even slow down either!

These elderly men, for the entirety of their lives have been taking orders and putting up with a lot of shit from their bosses so to speak.  Now that they’re retired and just like me, have had to deal with other obnoxious elderly men on bikes in their younger years, they probably feel that it’s their turn to rule the sidewalk…I’d love to coat-hang one as them as they ride by someday, I really would.

Generally though, Japanese people are indeed very polite and I think it would be both fair and accurate to say they could be one, if not the number 1 polite race in the world.  Feel free to disagree if you wish.

Japanese Society is Complex

Japanese society is rather complex and at times can be very difficult to understand and digest in certain cases.  I have lived in Japan for just over two years now and I still struggle to understand many aspects of the Japanese psyche.

Let me throw you an example.  I taught English at an English school called NOVA up until recently before changing jobs.  Walking home one evening, I recognized one of my ex-students walking right beside me, talking to a man who I assumed was her boss.  Naturally, I was about to say hi, but when she caught site of me, her head jiggled left and right in short, quick successions before totally ignoring my very existence.  Talk about being brushed off!  Now, I can assure you I was quite shocked because our relationship for the past 2 years had been quite friendly and we always got along quite well.  I got the impression she wanted to say hi since we hadn’t seen each other for a while so I wasn’t sure how to react.  I figured there was some alternate reason behind this so I just left it at that and kept walking.

After stopping at 7/11 to withdraw some money I ran into them again, this time inside the local station and the exact same thing happened.  Once more, her head jittered left and right and like before I was totally ignored.  I was slightly irritated by this point and so over the next few days I asked some people including my girlfriend, who is Japanese, for some insight into the matter.  Three possible reasons I was ignored could be…

1. She didn’t want her boss to know she studies English,
2. She felt that since she was already talking to her boss, it would be improper to deviate her attention regardless as a sign of respect, and
3. Maybe she felt uncomfortable to talk with me since our professional relationship, that is, student and teacher is over.

The first one I could understand as if your boss knew you could speak English in Japan, it could easily create more work for the same salary each month - pretty unfair by any standards but quite common.  My girlfriend fell victim to this with her previous job.  When she finally quit, the company had to hire two people to fill her place.

The second one I have witnessed countless times in different forms and could pass it off simply as “oh, that`s just Japanese behavior”.  Basically, if you`re not a boss or a customer in Japan, regardless of the situation, its very likely you will be cut-of and ignored if someone else walks in the door.  That happened to me countless times while working for NOVA.  Even if the issue I was conveying with the staff was incredibly important and needed immediate attention, myself and other instructors were ignored.

The third one I think is unheard of to most people, but seemingly it does happen from time to time.  I hope that in the future I’ll be able to clear this matter up because it bugs me quite a bit.

Okay, that was quite a long example but hopefully it illustrates my point about a certain level of complexity in Japanese society.

Respect

Respect is somewhat similar to politeness, especially in Japan which might help to explain the behaviour of the children outside my apartment and the elderly men on their bicycles which I mentioned earlier.

From a very young age the idea of respecting your elders is heavily enforced.  Not in the form of punishment I should add, but with special titles and suffixes added onto the end of people’s names, which signify a level of social hierarchy.  This idea is not solely restricted to elderly people as you might imagine, but all levels of ages and even plays a part with regards to a person’s status within a company.  An age difference of one year calls the need for social respect.  For instance, a younger high school student would call his older peers “sempai”, whereas older peers might call the younger student Satou-san, where “Satou” is the family name and “san” is the prefix.  Other titles such as “sensei” are commonly used when referring to teachers, lawyers and doctors to name a few.

A word of advice…if you ever decide to teach English in Japan, don’t refer to yourself as a “sensei” because that would be considered inappropriate - its like walking up to someone and calling yourself beautiful or kawaii.  Instead, use the word “kyoushi” which is a less formal version of the word and definitely more appropriate.

Respect in the workplace

Japanese people in positions of power are very sensitive when it comes to loosing face, especially men so it seems.  An employee working for a Japanese company must always be aware of this fact.  A small, trivial matter which both you and I would more than likely shrug off, may well cause your typical Japanese boss to crawl into an emotional crevice to shield himself from any form embarrassment.  Something minuscule like forgetting the password to the company’s computer, or the internet password for some bosses could cause embarrassment in the face of other company employees.  So what happens in more extreme cases?

Take a conference, for example; the speaker has just finished his exciting and tremendously informative lecture on new ways of combating the greenhouse effect, while still allowing companies to retain a high profit margin.  The speaker then asks the audience if they have any questions and surely you would think that some people would start participating…wrong.  Your typical Japanese man, in a room filled with people who he hasn’t met before has already long since crawled deeply into his emotional crevice.  He is shy and dreading any form of embarrassment.  Inviting him to ask questions is like trying to draw blood from a stone in many cases.  The room will almost certainly remain quiet, leaving the speaker twiddling his thumbs.

Now, it’s very likely that for such a conference one or two underlings have accompanied their boss and although they may be bursting with questions and able to contribute substantially to the session, they will remain silent.  The reason is out of respect so their boss won’t lose face.  So in the end, it is highly likely that not even a single question will be asked and the speaker will finish his lecture on a massive down-note.

Japanese People Expressing Themselves

Japanese people as a whole are not very open to expressing themselves, which is why they are referred to as having “2 faces” even amongst themselves.  This is particularly true for Japanese men.  Talk to any western girl that’s tried picking up a Japanese guy and I’m sure they’ll be able to vent a bit.  A female student once told me that the average Japanese guy appears shallow on the outside but there’s a lot going on in the inside.  A mixture of insecurity, nervousness and wearing hair pins I suspect contributes to this.  Yes, that’s right!  It’s common for younger Japanese men to wear hair pins to keep their fringe out of their eyes.

Japanese people are not confrontational in nature; they will almost never complain in any situation away from their own home, whether it be in a restaurant, or at a retail shop where the item they bought can not be exchanged for whatever reason.  They bite their lip and shrug it off by saying “shoganai” (it can’t be helped).  NOVA, the English school I once worked for went bankrupt and naturally the students were the biggest losers of all.  Some whom I know personally had lost up to $5,000.  They weren’t happy, but they just blew it off.  I couldn’t see that happening back home in Australia…maybe they were rich?

The first Japanese monster I will introduce is:

Akaname (Bathtub licker, Filth licker)

Hope your bathtub is clean

General information

Gender: Unknown
Height: 150 cm tall
Weight: Average for a small adult
Tongue length: Up to 30 cm
Movement style: Bipedal
Distinctive features: Long ratty hair, reddish skin and a long, pointed tongue.
Favorite foods: Dead skin and mildew
Offensive weapons: None
Abundance: Widespread
Habitat: Filthy bathrooms

About Akaname

This creature dines on the scummy residue that builds up in and around bathtubs.  Neglect your cleaning duties and you’ll further increase the likelihood of an Akaname paying you a visit.

The Traditional Japanese Bathroom

In old times, bathtubs in Japan were made from wood and often the bathroom was enclosed in a separate room from the main house.  Dampness, created from poor or no air circulation, mixed with the humidity, created the ideal place for all sorts of creepy crawlies including, you guessed it… Akanames. The bathroom was seen as a scary place, especially amongst children and some superstitious adults

The Attack!

The attack of an Akaname is not aggressive, just revolting and the thought of having your bathtub slathered by a slimy yokai tongue is perhaps even more revolting.  In a sense, this yokai`s attack could be seen as a service.  They only appear at night and more predominately in the summer months when bathrooms are even steamer, mouldier and stinker than usual.  This is one service you probably would like to avoid.

Surviving an Encounter

Your life isn’t in any danger should an Akaname come to visit, its just that once it discovers a filthy bathtub its fond of, it’ll return regularly in search of sustenance.  Your reputation may be on the line if the neighbours find an Akaname lingering around your home.

Unconfirmed reports state that Akanames are afraid of the Japanese badger, mujina but before you start getting any crafty ideas, for god’s sake…clean your damn bathtub!

Teach English

Forget the larger chains such as the JET Program or Geos because you can’t make decent money by any standards working for companies like these.  There are a couple of options to make a lot of money.  One is to start your own English school, or find a part time teaching job and tutor private lessons in public locations in your time off.  Many Japanese would feel uncomfortable letting a foreigner who they hardly know into their home, which is why public locations are desirable.  Places like Royal Host or family restaurants near a train station are perfect.  Another great spot would be the local community centre in your area.  There are free tables available for anyone who wishes to use them and it’s quiet.

As for the money, for a private one-on-one lesson you can charge 4,000 yen, which is around $40 per hour.  This may seem quite high, but larger English schools in Japan often charge in excess of $60 or more and sometimes it could only be for 40 minutes.  For $40 per hour you’ll want a bit of experience behind your belt first, but if you are just following a book which your students feel comfortable with, you should do fine.

If you decide to start an English school, take note that the highest paying classes are children classes.  Many Japanese parents are busting to give their children a head start in English before junior high school, which English study is compulsory and of course hope that in the future their children become successful.  It’s quite acceptable to have up to 6 or even 8 children per class and for $15 a head, you can definitely make some solid cash.

As for adult customers, you would be likely to get a lot of house wives who seemingly have cash to burn and younger Japanese women who are interested in traveling abroad.  The next step would be to setup a home stay program using your parents or even friends back home.  Both younger and older Japanese people are often interested in someday doing a home stay so why not take advantage of this opportunity.

Buy land

Land in Japan is extremely expensive and it’s only going to become more expensive with time as property almost always does.  The average person probably can’t afford to buy land in Japan but if you can, you will definitely reap the rewards in years to come.  With purchased land there are a number of options to make some serious cash such as…

Build an apartment block

Apartments in Japan are small and expensive, meaning for X amount of land you can have more apartments and thus make more cash each month.  Not to mention that in almost all cases, tenants are required to pay “key money” or gift money to the land lord when they first move in.  Key money is different from bond money and is basically a “thank you” for letting them pay you rent each month and is usually between $1,000 to $2,000.  On top of key money, tenants just like in your country also are required to pay bond money.  If you can own your own apartment block in Japan you will become a guaranteed rich man.

Build a car park

You think owning a car in your country is expensive?  In Japan, not only do you have to have enough money to run and maintain your car, you also need money to park your car.  There are no side streets anywhere to park because of the limited space so people must use car parks and they are always full.

On top of parking space in towns and cities, you also need to rent car space at your apartment building which varies in price depending on the location, but it’s common for a single car space to go for $200 a month.  In downtown Tokyo, a single parking space goes for much higher.   Outrageous, isn’t it?  But, if you’re the owner then you’ll definitely be the one laughing.

Translating

If your Japanese language ability is high enough then there is a lot of money to be made from translating.  In a country where English ability is low, there is a high demand for skilled foreigners in this area since Japan’s economy is heavily dependent on business.  The opportunities for someone who can speak both English and Japanese are endless.  Providing you have the right looks, you could even land small acting roles in Tokyo.  I have seen some horrible English acting on Japanese dramas before by foreigners and I know you can definitely do a better job than they did.  It would not be hard.

Things you should know about first

To a foreigner, Japanese women look much younger than their actual age.  Women who are 30 usually appear to be around 25 or so, or maybe a little younger.  Some of these girls actually look young while others are semi-professional at putting on makeup.  A general rule is to guess their age and add on 4 to 6 years.

Despite what you may have heard, not all Japanese women are looking to bed a foreigner, although many are probably curious.  Most Japanese women aren’t as easy to pick up as you may have heard, but there are definitely many who think hanging around with and dating foreigners is exciting.  For the fashionable girl, dating a foreigner can be a status boost.

Certain foreigners already living in Japan try to have sex with as many Japanese women as they can.  Some Japanese women are well aware of these foreign playboys, so you’ll definitely want to play it cool and nice.

One last thing, Japanese women are generally not interested in foreigners from Asian countries.  Men who are either white or black definitely have the advantage.  Being tall and having blond hair will make it even easier to pick up.

Places to meet

Eikaiwas (English schools):  Many Japanese people learn English for a variety of reasons, maybe for their work, travel or maybe even just for a social chat.  Some younger Japanese women also study because they want to meet foreigners like you as an extra bonus.  English schools have always and will always be a great place to pick up Japanese women.

If you are a playboy, chasing too many girls in your English school is not recommended as word will definitely spread as many of the students are already friends.  Once the word is out, things won’t go as smoothly as they once did.

Gaijin (foreigner) bars:  Many foreigners and Japanese women who speak moderate to excellent English often gather in gaijin bars for a good time and so are great places to pick up.  The Japanese women in foreigner bars are there for two reasons - to practice English conversation and to meet foreigners.  Whether it be true love or just an excuse to practice English, a new foreigner will always receive attention.

Learn Japanese

If you already know Japanese, great!  Very few foreigners living in Japan can speak decent Japanese.  Most can only say a few words even after living in the country for a year or so.  By communicating in Japanese, you will definitely leave an impression and picking up will be so much easier.  Not to mention you’ll be able to talk with every Japanese woman and not just the ones that speak English.

If you can’t speak Japanese or at the most, very little…don’t worry.  Now’s the time to start learning some basics and use some simple lines.  Simply by trying to speak Japanese, even if it’s only a little is a great way to impress Japanese women in a gaijin bar and will keep the conversation rolling if you feel it’s starting to die.  Talking about language difficulties will instantly create common ground and creates a good opportunity to put forward the idea of meeting again sometime for some “language exchange.”

Put your name down at the local community centre

Every city has a community centre which holds language and cultural classes that regularly invite foreigners and Japanese to attend.  Classes such as flower arrangement, Japanese cooking and etiquette are not just for the elderly.  Any Japanese women attending will definitely be interested in the foreigner who just walked in the door.

In addition to classes, there is also a pin board where you can write on a small piece of paper pretty much anything which comes to mind, such as wanting to buy or sell a bicycle or even expressing interest in a language exchange.  Just write something brief about yourself and include your cell phone and/or email address.  Make sure you omit the fact that you’re only interested in women and looking to pick up.  Usually within a day or two, someone who is hopefully drop-dead sexy should reply.

Facebook

Many younger Japanese women already use Mixi, which is the Japanese version of Facebook.  Facebook is more fun than regular email and is a great first step into seducing a Japanese woman you have your eyes set on.  Create a Facebook group such as a cycling or tennis club and ask her and others if they wish to join.  From here you can easily organise opportunities to meet which will seem less like a date.  A friend I once knew used this tactic and it worked brilliantly.

Do the Karaoke

Whenever you think of karaoke, which country instantly springs to mind?  Of course it’s Japan and almost everyone in Japan loves to sing karaoke so why not join in?  It’s a great place to strut-the-strut and show everyone your fun and vibrant nature.  After having dinner and drinks at an izakaya with a group of friends, a karaoke session is almost certain and virtually unavoidable.  After a full tank of alcohol and some dancing beats, heading home with a hot Japanese babe is certainly within your reach.

Be the “nice guy”

As I mentioned earlier, many Japanese women are aware of the playboy attitude amongst many foreigners living in Japan.  Dress smartly and avoid a style that in anyway would depict a playboy.  Be polite and aware of the differences within a Japanese society.  Be a gentlemen and not a sleaze-ball.